Knowing Your Self Worth

Have you ever been approached by someone who confronts you with what you have been doing wrong? Have you found it helpful? Sometimes we need to be confronted. We have been going down the wrong road, for whatever length of time, and we need to face it. But other times, hearing from someone on what we are doing wrong, doesn’t feel helpful to us. Sometimes, it just angers us and we get frustrated with ourselves. Maybe what we are facing is an old battle; a thorn that has been tripping us up inside since we were kids. We see it is still a struggle, our memories return and we feel weak or not as good as everyone else. We start thinking of ourselves in negative terms again. Unfortunately, this way of thinking only continues an unproductive cycle that keeps us from experiencing our potential.

The things we say to ourselves hold power in our lives. By telling ourselves we are lacking, or will never get it right, we are setting ourselves up to continue acting and thinking in patterns that are in line with the "truths" we hear. What we really need in times of frustration and weakness, is power in the opposite direction. We need powerful encouragement toward faith and strength. We need to tell ourselves that we have what it takes and we are more than how we think and feel, because we are.

Just because we feel something doesn't mean it's true

Oftentimes we place far too much emphasis on what we are feeling. Now, I don't mean to say that our emotions are not powerful and significant to us. I believe that they are highly valuable part of our lives. Being aware of and having experience with our feelings is a vital and needed part of health. However, we also need to be aware when we are dwelling on our feelings, and not moving forward. Particularly when we are stuck on feelings that relay messages that are not real. We must make the distinction between what we feel and what is true...

For example, we may have a feeling of fear, but the reality of the situation is that we are perfectly safe. We may think someone is mad at us if they haven't called back, when really they were just busy. Or, we may think we aren't valuable because a parent hasn't shown us the care they should, when really they were never shown care as children and don't know how to express it. Lastly, maybe we have made mistakes and now we feel like a failure, though all people make mistakes and there is much good that we have done.

Our emotions can be based sometimes on distortions of truth. We make assumptions from limited knowledge and we tend to take things personally when it's not about us. We do not need to live by the authority of our emotions if they are lying to us. We can remind ourselves that just because we feel something does not mean it is true. We can consider how accurate that feeling actually is, and not just accept it because it is something we feel. Let's compare it with reality and consider the contrary, so we can see how things really are and find greater peace.

Considering who we really are

Whether I am dealing with a client or a friend, or even myself, what it comes down to is that we all need reminding about who we really are. We need to remember what is true, so that we can envision it and move toward it. So it becomes more real to us.

When it comes to who we are, we don’t have to rely on past events, behavior or habits. We are not defined by what we have heard. We are not defined by what we struggle to do. We are certainly not defined by what happened in the past. We are defined only by Someone greater and who He says we are. We are defined by the potential He has given us. We were made in God’s image, given His capacity for love, strength and wisdom (even if we haven't fully tapped into it yet).

We are worthy because we were shown as worthy; as tremendously special. We were treated with great value when God gave His life for each of us. He loved YOU enough, to die for YOU; to set you free from what holds you back. The lies that we are not good enough were taken away. Our flaws were given over to Him in death. It's the truth, whether you feel it or not. Remember, your emotions are just emotions. In reality, you are given a new opportunity for living and new spirit that is from Christ Himself. This way, "just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life" (Romans 6:4).

The traits of our old self might tempt and bother us, but they are not who we are. And if we continue to refocus on what has been already done for us, the cleaning that has already taken place, we can know we are starting fresh. If we choose to look at the fact God has given us a tangible peace, love and joy, we can begin feeling it more. The challenges may be loud and distracting on the surface, but beneath them is a different foundation...a greater core of beauty that is God's Spirit in you. Think about that because it's the truth.

Tips for feeling more like the "real you"

• Ask God to reveal how He sees you. It will always be beautiful and it will always be what is true. Keep asking for Him to open your eyes to your potential and to help you experience it. It is His heart's desire for you to know it and live it out as well.
• Have you seen any specific examples of Godly traits in your life? Call them up in your memory and write them down. Think about them when you need encouragement.
• Imagine what this person looks like. How she or he would respond to your current situation? Try living as if you were this person (then you'll eventually start to feel like you are).
• If the past was a very painful place for you, you may need to talk to someone and find greater healing. The good news, is that you CAN move past this. Addressing it will only help you put it aside and feel better.
• Get to know the gifts you have that are specific only to you. God made you to be unique and special...He gave you a certain way of thinking and looking at things, certain abilities and talents, that will enable you to add beauty to this world. How are you special and what can you contribute around you?
• Discover more about the beauty of God. Consider what trait of His has been hard for you to accept or believe, and look into it more. For example, some of us have trouble accepting or grasping His unconditional love. Get some material on the topic.
• Be patient with that process, especially if you are trying to change an old habit of negative thinking.

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Dear Lord, you know how hard it can be for us to see ourselves as you do. But you also know how important it is. You say in your Word that you desire truth in our inmost being. You want us to see how worthy we are. You want us to live in joy and to experience our potential. Please help us let go of the past. Please help us accept your love that heals us and moves us forward. Teach us what is true about ourselves and take the lies out of our minds. Enable us to let go of things that aren't true and to be able to embrace what is. Thank you for your hope in us and the fact that we don't have to become someone different. We only get to become more of who we really are. In Jesus name, amen.